Being open to infinite possibilities, inevitably includes the non-preferred possibilities. The trials, the unpleasant and unexpected. My initial response is to resist, push back, strive for something better and more in line with what I imagined I was making all this space for, something worthy of the risks I’m taking in this transformation, and more immediately, the risks inherent in taking this trip.
I’m 9 days into my 2024 roadtrip and there have been roadblocks. Disappointments, missed opportunities, unanticipated changes in income, broken equipment (and repair costs). Is it a sign to turn around before I make it to the west coast? My anxious thoughts say yes, YES, ‘what if’s’ abound (the wildfire maps certainly don’t help). There is another part of me that is transforming this relationship I have with the roadblocks. As well as the relationship to the questioning of the breadcrumbs that I followed to land where I am. Leading me to question the expectations I placed on this experience. The insistent belief that a certain set of events or experiences will resound in my being as the thing that is needed for growth or happiness, or anything really.
Can I be open to infinite possibilities with the understanding that the more I try to control outcomes, the harder the blow when something along the way doesn’t work out? I’m practicing. I’m noticing. Slowing down in each moment and getting curious about what is there, when it doesn’t quite match what I had hoped for.
There have been so so many beautiful things in the last 9 days as well. Generosity, flexibility, the most precious wildlife sightings here and there, and nature showing off in BIG ways.




Tomorrow I’ll leave the comfort of my camper and head off to spend a few days exploring an area I fell deeply in love with last year. My intention is to deeply practice that curiosity around expectations and leaning into what is. Maybe it won’t be as magical as last year, and maybe it will exceed my expectations. Who knows.
Jocelyn Lovelle at Hello Beautifuls, a fellow substacker in two the communities I’ve resonated with most here on Substack (Writing in the Dark & Letters from Love) wrote this week in her newsletter something I really needed to read. The newsletter included her very own Letter from Love, reminding us all
“The shelter, from all of this, is not to escape from the storm, to hide under your clothes on the closet floor, as I know you've done, and though soothing at the time, did not, in the long run, allay your fears. The shelter, my love, is to go out in the storm. To sit under the lightning, to let the thunder pulse through your veins, to open your mouth and let the rain pour down your throat and to laugh, my dear. To laugh and to run and to shout in the downpour and to love yourself into the oblivion of Love.“
With that, I shall be with what is, letting the rain pour down my throat and graciously follow the inspiration to share a Letter from Love (well two actually) from earlier this year in this month’s newsletter. As Love is often reminding me of things I need to hear again and again, especially in these moments. Maybe you’ll find a tidbit within that allows for a soft place to land.
3/14/24 Letter from Love:
Dear Love,
What would you have me know today about possibility?
Ahhhhh, you see those images and sensations popping through in meditation, do you?! You’re welcome. It’s me. Hi, again, love, in case you needed a reminder. Capital L, Love.
Possibility and expansion are abound. You are a manifesting generator. You are a Gemini rising. You are meant to pivot in life. This is a pivot point. And not in a toxic positivity way, but every time you close a door, you are EXPANDING to the many possibilities, rather that that one measly thing the door has closed on. I could see your meditation today and how far your mind wandered from the first few days of this meditation. You are embodying the love and the expansiveness. Go with that! Does it feel scary and as if you are implanting the wishes for things that could never possibly happen? Meh, I don’t think so. To be honest, you didn’t ever expect to be where you are presently. Life is full of unexpected things, so what is the harm in dreaming big and bold and concocting a life in which you are so full of experience and love, that you can’t help but want to share, your wisdom, your love. To be free and without being held back by fears of any doors that close in the future. Hurts will happen. You saw that recently, with the whiplash of such a pleasant and good day, turning to deep grief with the loss of Wam. You didn’t know that you wouldn’t see her again. Of course it’s a possibility, anything is possible. And yet you DID lead with love and compassion when you saw her last. There is an intentionality to that that can’t be ignored. That is the living in alignment that you are striving for, and just one small way. So keep going my lovelet. Keep coming to me, convening with me. You world, whiplash included, has felt so much more aligned.
Love,
Love

3/31/24 Letter from Love:
Dear Love,
What would you have me know today?
None of your choices have been ‘wrong.’ The external shoulds and pressures seem to be building and you are questioning yourself. I’m curious, why? What would make you believe that your life, past, present and unknown future, is anything but beautiful? Anything but exactly what it was meant to be. There are so many alternate realities and I wonder what makes you think any of the ones that you consciously turned away from, would somehow be ‘better’? That any of those would have left you believing that you had somehow done things ‘right’? There is no right and no wrong, There just IS. And my darling we are so built to judge. Ourselves, others, in a way that feedback and critique are just part of the day to day thought process for so many, that it isn’t untrue that others may have feelings about where you are, what your choices are. And in this lifetime, we are building together to feel SO OK with wherever you are. To be able to look and say yes, I made those choices. And not feel the twinge of guilt or shame or what if. This concept of failure is big on your mind. What a big or little failure would feel like for you. What if every step is part of the process. Every choice is building to support and co-create something beautiful. Something beautiful and unimaginable at this moment in time. If you can’t plan and predict, you can’t imagine it. What you CAN do is to believe in yourself. Believe in your now. Believe in your future. Believe in the process. Believe in love, both within and without. Believe in a soft place to land at the end of this trust fall. Believe that there is something so far beyond your imagination out there, over there, down there. BELIEVE.
Love,
Love

Your turn, dear subscribers 💌
Invitation 1: Take some time to reflect on how you typically relate and respond to the unexpected in life.
💖 Cassidy
TLDR:
Sometimes experiences don’t turn out as we expect them to. I shared reflections on the unexpected of my journey so far and how I’m working on transforming my relationship with the unexpected.
Land acknowledgement
I primarily live and work on the ancestral territory of the Piscataway and Susquehannock Peoples. Both tribes were displaced. In the case of the Piscataway, the land was reported to be ceded but we recognize impact over intent here and ceded is language of the oppressor that means forcibly persuaded. The lands of the Susquehannock were stolen after broken treatise and encroachment of colonial settlers. I thank those who cared for this land before their forced removal and recognize the many forms of harm and violence that occurred for me to live and work here today.
Landback voluntary payments are going to the Piscataway Land Trust, a non-profit of Through Piscataway Eyes.
Paid subscriber invitation: Share in the comments, what has your relationship with expectations revealed as of late, dear community?
If you haven’t had a chance to get familiar with community guidelines, please do so. The TLDR (too long, didn’t read) is that the ask here is for community members to encourage and celebrate each other in the comments. Especially on dedicated hype posts, please refrain from responding with advice or logistics to the dreams folks are sharing. My anxious mind can get really creative and come up with 99% of the drawbacks and potential problems with any choice I make or dream I name, so the intention is in curating a space that cuts down on the external noise for our members. More here: https://cassidydemos.substack.com/p/community-guidelines
Pressing that little heart button under the newsletter title helps Soft Place to Land make it’s way to others who need just that at this juncture of life.