Community Guidelines
Brave Space: *3/15/25 update
Substack publications and the communities developed within each one are often the kindest places on the internet. Whether it’s the exchanges in a newsletter comment section or in subscriber chats, I see beautiful and authentic interactions and support every time I’m on the platform.
That being said, there is no guarantee I can create a safe space. I am intentional about curating a brave space here. Content moderating functions are enabled and we’ll engage in restorative conflict resolution when needed.
If it is brought to your attention that you have harmed someone in the community, I ask that you not delete your comments. Erasing the words also erases the record of the emotional labor of the involved parties. Instead, we will lean into vulnerability and discomfort and engage in the practice of repair after a rupture. Repair is necessary for all of our healing. I wish it was taught in early elementary education with the same priority as academics. If needed, loop me in and I’ll facilitate.
Discrimination, micro-aggressions, and harm between subscribers will not be tolerated. If methods of conflict resolution are either refused or the offenses continue after the conflict resolution process, you will be asked to leave the community. Trolls and their comments will be removed without warning, and I’ll do my best to preserve the interactions via screenshot for later processing if necessary.
On perfectionism:
This is not a place for perfectionism. Ive committed to sharing my writing and I’ve committed to shedding perfectionism in this lifetime. Soft Place to Land is a space where I will be practicing what I preach. There will be typos and grammatical errors and in all likelihood, there may be an incomplete thought here and there. My ask is that you choose to sit with the discomfort that imperfection brings up in you, and refrain from sending editorial notes. If editing is your jam and you want to donate your services in a way that supports me, I’d love to have you review the books I’m writing as they get closer to publishing!
More on perfectionism here: www.dismantlingracism.org and the paper on white supremacy culture by Tema Okun.
Advice Giving:
We resist the normative social expectation of offering advice here. Emphasis on the word offer. We DO offer encouragement and support. The recipient has the option to receive what is offered, or not. I read a great post by Dana Leigh Lyons over at Sober Soulful, on not giving unsolicited advice in relation to the context of recovery (post linked below). I’ll add that advice often comes with a silent should, and in the process of radically dreaming we are already up against enough shoulds as it is. When you have the urge to advise, remember the title of this publication- Soft Place to Land. Community members are here to turn away from the readily available advice giving world and tune into a space dedicated to believing in infinite possibilities.
When the advice giving energy is bubbling up inside of you, lead with compassion and curiosity and feel free to personalize some of the following alternatives:
“That sounds really hard, thanks for showing up here so that I can sit with my thoughts around ____.”
“Thanks for bringing that to the community, this reminds me of a time I struggled with _____”
“Thanks for sharing, I see you.”
If it seems like the community member is directly asking for advice, first clarify- “are you looking for feedback here?” If yes:
What does your gut tell you is the next right step?
have you considered ___?
have you thought about ___?
How would it feel to try ___?
Suscription Fees:
Should you choose to subscribe because you value the content I’m publishing and/or believe in the broader dreams and projects that are supported by this publication, know that I trust you to assess your financial situation. When you are in a place of prosperity at any given time (i.e., enough to meet your own needs with extra to give to support others who involved in projects/efforts related to your values), I created a self-selecting process to match your circumstances with a matching subscription fee: https://cassidydemos.substack.com/p/accessibility
I don’t presume to know more about your financial situation that you do. In order to be in integrity with my values around creating equity, your choices around subscriptions will never be questioned.
How Substack Works- Specifically Here at Soft Place to Land:
Newsletter: *updated 3/15/25
All subscribers will receive ~monthly newsletters in their inbox.
All subscribers have the ability to comment and share your responses to practices and invitations in the newsletter.
If community guidelines described above are too difficult to maintain (i.e., trolls/bots enter the scene), I will re-assess how to pivot at that time.
Some content will be archived after a few months in order to navigate the complex world of traditional publishing. If there is a particular archived post you are interested in, please send me a message and I’ll make it happen.
Paid subscribers have access to all archived content. Paid subscribers (at any tier- https://cassidydemos.substack.com/p/accessibility) hold an incredibly special place in this writer’s heart. My dream of being a published author exists within the context of a system where abundant resources are required (time, expertise, financial), whether going a traditional or self-publishing route. Every dollar feeds the building momentum and enthusiasm to pursue a dream in a new and extraordinarily competitive field. PLEASE do utilize the sliding scale options to self-assess and select a subscription that best matches your circumstances. If your circumstances change, please update your subscription accordingly. Reciprocity is at the center of the new and beautiful world that motivates everything I do.
Chat:
As of 3/15/25, we’re going to experiment with opening up chat to all subscribers. As with any aspect of the space and publication, changes will be made as necessary.